She announced her abortion via fbk
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
