you have to choose: penises or morals?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize