He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize