I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
cat food counts as protein by the way
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
