Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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