There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
