I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
