He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
