Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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