I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
