if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
