Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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