Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize