you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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