im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
