so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize