i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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