I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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