Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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