I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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