Having a random hookup so left but love u
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
