There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
