Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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