well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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