Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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