She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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