Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up under a house in Key West
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
