"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
