All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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