this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
