He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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