I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
