Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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