just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize