You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
