i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
