So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
