My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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