I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
