so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize