I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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