apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
