hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
