Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
