better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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