she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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