mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
