and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
