I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
