u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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