i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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