I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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