well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
