Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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