I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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