After last night, I could never be a politician.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
