I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
