I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
