talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
