Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize