...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
