I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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