It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
