I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
