is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Please don't give away my fajitas
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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