I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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