Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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