Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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