I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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