I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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