Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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